Frequently Asked Questions about Memories
Verses
on Memories - Prov.
3:5-8; Isa. 26:3; 65:16-19; John 17:17; Rom. 12:2; 2 Cor. 10:4-5; Eph. 4:23; Phil. 3:12-14; 4:8-9; Col. 3:10;
Tit. 3:5; Heb. 12:3; 1 Pet. 1:13
How do deal with stuffed secrets that I haven’t dealt with?
Please read chapters 8, 9, 10 in Hope for
the Brokenhearted: Biblical Solution for Survivors of Abuse and Rape. You
do not have to rehearse the actual events of the abuse in your mind to let it
out or to heal from it. You deal with the issues of abuse in generalities. You
deal with the issue that you were sexually violated. You don't bring up all the
details of what happened when you were violated. Ask yourself what is the
standing in Christ of a person who has been sexually violated? It is no
different from someone who hasn't been sexually violated. I think part of the
problem is that you are thinking you are less of a person because of what
someone did to you or that you are different in Christ than anyone else and
that just is not true. Yes, what you went through is emotionally painful. To
let it out means to come to the point where you can openly and unashamedly say
I was violated but that was the past and now I am a loved child of my Father in
heaven. Don't try to hide and suppress the past. Use it to display the power
and love of Christ. With Christ's power you can overcome. With His love you can
stand up boldly and say Christ's death on the cross has made me clean therefore
I can boldly stand before the throne of grace. Letting it out means facing what
you have believed about what happened to you and what you think of yourself and
comparing that with what God says. When you confess that you have been
believing a lie about yourself and under estimating the power and
completeness of Christ's death on the cross and start believing the
completeness of His death as it applies to you personally, you are on the road
to healing. You have been trying to kill the abuse and feelings yourself. You
are to take it out of yourself, give it to God, and you die to the old nature
that is believing the lies and you don't respond to the feelings based on
Satan' lies. Your life is hidden in Christ. You need to believe you are victor
in Christ. Christ has made you whole positionally.
You need to believe and act upon that truth. Study the scriptures on who you
are in Christ. Memorize them. Quote them when you are tempted to believe
Satan's lies.
As you bring up these stuffed memories to
deal with them, forgiving of your abuser will lessen the emotional pain.
What do I do
about new memories?
New memories are always traumatic. Your emotions rise to the level as if you
were reliving it. This is normal under the circumstance. To help you ease the
trauma, remember these things before, during and after the memories surface:
1 Jesus’ death on the cross covers everything that happed to you when you trust
Christ as Savior.
2 The memory does not change your status with God.
3 The memory doesn't change anything about what really did happen.
4 It is in the past, it is not happening now.
5 Having flashbacks is not a sin and does not make you unclean.
6 God still loves you.
7 You have been forgiven of all your sin, past, present and future sins.
8 Having the memory doesn't make you a bad person.
Sometimes part of the healing process involves remembering repressed memories
so they can come to the surface and be dealt with. This is a stage and it does
pass. The length of time it takes to get through this stage varies. Then again
for you it may be a one time thing and it is over. I can not say. If God is
going to allow you to go through these memories, He then believes that with His
strength you are able to handle it (1 Cor.