Hope for the Brokenhearted:
Biblical Solutions for Survivors of Abuse and Rape
by Todd R. Cook
Other resources for survivors of abuse by
Todd R. Cook may be seen at www.hopebooks.info
A paperback copy of this book
may be ordered from www.amazon.com.
The retail price is $13.99. The book may also be ordered by sending a check for
$11.99 (which includes shipping) to Todd R. Cook at the following address. Todd
R. Cook, 302 Park St., Bensenville,
IL 60106.
Digital copy in PDF format can be bought for $2.99 from https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/28309
. This book is now available at e-book stores for various digital readers and
apps.
Continue down to preview the table of contents and first chapter.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
1 THERE IS HOPE
Effects of Abuse in Adults
2 ABUSE IS SIN
Verbal Abuse
Physical Abuse
Sexual Abuse
Responsibility for Abuse
3 WHY THERE IS SUFFERING
Reason for Suffering
God’s Justice
Why Christians Suffer
Benefits of Suffering
A Choice to Make
4 DEVELOPMENT OF THE EFFECTS OF ABUSE
Physical Effects
Thinking Effects
Emotional Effects
Behavioral Effects
5 BIBLICAL SELF-CONCEPT
Pride
Low Self-view
Inward Focus
Biblical Self-concept
Stopping Self Abuse
6 GOD’S LOVE
7 FORGIVENESS
Bitterness
Guilt
God Forgives Us
We forgive Others
We Forgive Ourselves
8 RENEWING THE MIND
Triggers for Memories
Flashbacks
How to Handle Memories
Controlling Your Mind
What to Do for Nightmares
Resolving Issues in the Mind
How One Woman Dealt with Rape
Solving Problems
9 GRIEVING
Emotions in Grieving
Stages in Grieving
10 STRESS
Post Traumatic Stress
Cause of Stress
Stress Assessment
Stress Reduction
11 POWER TO CHANGE
12 EMOTIONS
Feelings
Depression
Anger
Contentment
Joy and Gladness
Mixed Emotions
Easing Emotional Pain
Managing Emotions
13 FEARS AND TRUST
Security
Fears
Trusting God
Giving God Control
Worries
What You Can Do
14 PURPOSE IN LIFE
15 RELATIONSHIP SKILLS
Love
Friendship
Companionship
Loneliness
16 DEALING WITH ABUSIVE PEOPLE
Dealing with Your Abuser
Dealing with Family
Principles for Dealing with the Abuser
If You Are Currently Being Abused
Tips to Keep You Safe
Dealing with Rejection
17 FAMILY DESIGN
Marriage
Parenting
Gifts from God
Sex
Who You Should Marry
18 CHRISTIAN LIFE
Salvation
Assurance of Salvation
Christian Living
Temptations
Results of Trials
APPENDIX - A PHILOSOPHY OF MEDICATION
TOPICAL SCRIPTURE INDEX
Chapter
1
There is hope for the survivors of
abuse. That hope is in the person of Jesus Christ according to 1 Timothy 1:1. According
to Hebrews 12:2, Jesus is the author and finisher of our faith. This means that
because He was involved in the creation of life, He knows the best way to live
it. He has given us the Bible as His instructions on how to live life (2 Tim.
3:16, 17). This book will explain to you how Jesus and His book, the Bible, can
help heal your hurts.
The
Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel
to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance
to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them
that are bruised, To preach the acceptable year of the Lord (Luke 4:18-19).
These words were spoken by Jesus, the One who came for the less
fortunate. Notice especially that Jesus was sent to heal that brokenhearted.
There are very few people that are more brokenhearted than those ravished by
abuse. Jesus came especially to heal that broken heart, your broken heart. He
also came to preach deliverance to the captives. You may have been held
physically captive. You may also feel captive to your emotions of shame,
helplessness, guilt and worthlessness. He can deliver you from these feelings.
He also was sent to set at liberty those who are bruised. The word bruised
here has the idea of crushed. Jesus
has come to set free those who have been crushed emotionally by their abuser.
Yes, Jesus has come especially for your situation.
Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we
did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for
our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our
peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have
gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the LORD hath laid on
him the iniquity of us all (Isaiah 53:4-6).
This passage is a prophecy of what Christ would do on the cross
when he came to earth the first time. Jesus came to take care of our physical,
emotional and spiritual needs. We experience many of the benefits of
Christ’s first coming here on earth but the complete healing will come
when we get to heaven. One of the beautiful truths of this passage is that He
bore our sins so that we do not have to.
And you, being dead in your sins and the uncircumcision of your
flesh, hath he quickened together with him, having forgiven you all trespasses;
Blotting out the handwriting of ordinances that was against us, which was
contrary to us, and took it out of the way, nailing it to his cross (Colossians
2:13-14).
Jesus
also forgives. Notice that it says, “having forgiven you all
trespasses.” When we trust Jesus as our Savior, He forgives all our sins.
This means that God sees us as without guilt and sin.
God loves you. He loves you even as a sinner. You do not have to
clean up your life for God to love you (Romans 5:8). God does not see you as
unlovable. God loves you because it is His nature to do so. He loves you
regardless of what you have done or what has been done to you. That love also
brings you salvation. Romans 5:8 says, “But God commendeth his love
toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” That
means He died in your place, He took the penalty you deserved. This
substitution or salvation is applied to your life through faith.
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of
yourselves: it is the gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast
(Eph. 2:8-9).
Salvation
is a free gift. It is not something that we earn through good works. We do not
receive it from being someone special in our own eyes. God just gives it to
whomever has faith to receive it. It can be yours right now through faith. You
can express your faith right now in prayer by asking God to forgive you. There
are no magic words you must say. Just ask God in your own words to save you and
give you eternal life. You can ask Him to save you at any time, anywhere and He
will do it.
God
offers strength to those who have received him. Philippians 4:13 says, “I
can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” He can and will
give you the strength to get through each day.
God’s
Word can have a powerful effect on our lives as well.
My
soul melteth for heaviness: strengthen thou me according unto thy word (Ps.
119:28).
This
is my comfort in my affliction: for thy word hath quickened me (Ps. 119:50).
Great
peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them (Ps.
119:165).
Psalm
119:28, 50, 165, tell us that God’s Word can give us strength, comfort,
life, and peace. In John 8:31, 32 Jesus says that His truth will make you free.
John 17:17 says that God’s Word has a sanctifying effect which means that
it helps separate us from sin to God.
The
Word of God has authority. The survivor of abuse may have developed values and
beliefs that are not consistent with the Word of God; however, because the
Bible carries the authority of God, it can correct the thinking and value
system of the survivor.
All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable
for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
That the man of God may be perfect, throughly furnished unto all good works (2
Timothy 3:16-17).
For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any
twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and
of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the
heart (Hebrews 4:12).
Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any
private interpretation. For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of
man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost (2 Peter
1:20-21).
Make
a goal to read a Psalm every day. This will aid immensely in your healing. If
you are not sure of your salvation, read the Gospel of John also. Reading
God’s Word is a life-changing experience.
Prayer will also aid in your
healing. Give your burdens and requests to God. Don't take them back.
Having a desire to heal is very
important. With God’s help you are able to heal. Remember, Christ came
specifically to heal the brokenhearted; therefore, He must want you to be
healed. Do not start thinking that you are not worthy to be healed. God knows
you are worthy to be healed. Some barriers to healing are:
-
Not believing that God’s Word applies to you.
- Not believing you are worthy to be healed.
- Not believing or practicing biblical principles for living.
- Not understanding that much of your emotional make up is a
result of childhood or domestic abuse.
-
Believing there is no hope. God says there is hope.
- Fear that healing will cause a flood of uncontrollable emotion
that is too much to bear.
- Unwillingness to change or fear of change.
-
Not drawing close to God.
Statistics
say about one in four girls and about one in seven boys are sexually abused
before age eighteen. This book focuses on healing from the effects of this
abuse. Below is a list of the common effects of abuse on adults. A later
chapter will explain how these effects developed. Because these effects were
learned or developed, that means that they can be changed. This thought brings
hope. Keep in mind that when these effects are developed during childhood, the
healing during adulthood takes longer because adults are less impressionable
than children and learn at a slower rate. Remember God is in the business of
healing and He can work miracles.
PHYSICAL
trauma
to genital area
venereal
disease
change
in sleep patterns
uncontrollable
shaking
sexual
dysfunction
loss
of virginity
scars
change
in brain function
THINKING
nightmares
poor
self-view
not
trusting
flashbacks
constant
thinking about assault
self-blame
deserves
to be punished
self
is not worth caring for
self-hate
perfectionism
suicidal
thoughts
uncaring
sexual
coldness
unforgiving
bitterness
loneliness
poor
judgment in relationships
lack
of concentration
prejudice
hearing
voices
paranoia
daily
problems magnified
despair
hopelessness
EMOTIONAL
depression
fear
of intimacy
feel
ashamed
feel
betrayed
feel
confused
anxiety
phobias
guilt
embarrassed
anger
feel
dirty
feel
damaged
feel
unworthy
feel
unlovable
edginess
feel
helpless or powerless
emotional
numbing
mixed
feelings
panic
attacks
insecure
BEHAVIORAL
suicidal
attempts
cutting
or harming self, self-mutilation
eating
disorders
alcohol
or drug abuse
promiscuousness
smoking
hang
with abusive people
not
getting close to people
pornography
obsessive
- compulsive disorder
criminal
behavior
abusing
others
prejudice
masturbation
withdrawn,
isolation
pacing
hypersensitivity
to touch
people
pleasing
aggressively
control environment
self-destructive
behaviors
homosexuality
uncleanliness
By Pastor Todd R. Cook
Email - Todd R. Cook
Hope for a New Day by Todd and Susan Cook (a devotional book)